A tale of bravery

Every single day thousands of women, men and children become victims of abuse.

I personally know of many survivors of abuse.

Sadly, this is still not a topic that many people feel comfortable talking about and due to this, the victims often do not have anyone to turn to.

The story that I am about to share with you would seem so unbelievable that you would think you were watching a movie or reading a book.

It is a tale of survival and is being shared with you in the hopes that it would help change someone’s life.

Here goes:

  1. Tell us about yourself

I am a 28 year old Indian female. A Beauty therapist from Durban. I am a very friendly individual but my face says otherwise lol.

  1. When did you enter into the toxic relationship and how long were you in it for?

It started in 2008, lasted around 4 years.

  1. Tell us about the relationship? How did you meet and was is abusive from the start?

He was a friend of a friend. He was actually such an amazing guy in the beginning but that didn’t last too long. It was 3 months later on Valentine’s Day that the abuse started.

  1. Give us an example of a bad situation that you were in while in the relationship?

It’s hard to pick one. It was the night I came back home. We had a silly argument about something that I can’t even remember. I fell over against his car and he proceeded to kick me continuously, I eventually got up and I will admit I did fight back.

I punched him in the face and at this point his brother broke up the fight. The three of us sat him his car because I was in too much pain to walk back up to the flat. His brother decided to leave and we then drove to the top of the new bridge that was being built.

We stopped and he wanted to talk, we were now directly opposite his flat, his mum could clearly see us. We spoke and that turned into an argument.

All I remember is being pushed off the side of the bridge and landing on the roof of those taxi shelters before rolling off and landing in the middle of the road. I know a taxi driver got out his taxi and called the cops.

A few minutes later my parents arrived and we went straight to a hospital. I looked like the thing from the fantastic four. It’s an image I know my family and I will never forget.

  1. How did it make you feel?

At this point I felt no pain so him beating me up didn’t hurt. What hurt was the questions I had. What is wrong with me that God thought I deserved this? Am I the problem? Maybe if I do what he says we’ll be happy?

You end up questioning yourself and forget that you aren’t the one with the problem. I know that physical abuse is terrible but trust me the emotional abuse is 100 times worse.

I felt like I was emotionally broken, I couldn’t cry at this point because this felt normal.

  1. Would you say that you were manipulated?

Yes, I definitely was

  1. Most commonly, in abusive relationships, the abuser tends to make you to alienate yourself from your friends and family. Was this the case and how did you cope?

Yes it was!  I hardly spoke to my parents or siblings. I lost a lot of my friends and for me personally, I felt like suicide was the best option.

Its scary how many times one thinks about it or attempts it. I know it sounds silly because people think it’s easy to get out the situation but it honestly isn’t.

The fear of getting killed makes you stay.

  1. How did you get out of the relationship?

It was only when my parents had to rush me to the emergency room and I literally looked like a different person that I knew my parents wouldn’t be able to deal with one of their kids dying that I knew something had to change.

I went back home an decided I couldn’t go back. I couldn’t allow him to be the reason my life ends.

  1. If you could give your younger self any piece of advice, what would it be?

I actually laughed when I read this question. There are many things I would say to myself.

Firstly a real man would NEVER put his hands on you.

Secondly value your life, we only get one.

And lastly you deserve the world so if YOU allow someone to treat you like trash than you are to blame for the outcome!!!

  1. How has this life experience helped you grow as a person?

I’ve reached a point in my life where I don’t feel sorry for myself. I’m actually grateful that I went through it and thankful that I got out.

We take so much for granted, our family, friends etc.

It has made me a stronger person. Oh don’t get me wrong I still made many mistakes after that relationship but now I know what I want and I won’t settle for less!

I am a strong independent female and if a man isn’t willing to treat me like gold the way my father does I am sorry but you have got to go.

  1. What advice would you give to a person who is going through something similar?

You aren’t alone. You aren’t weak for staying. It’s easy for someone that isn’t going through what you are to say ‘just leave’.

You don’t deserve to go through life being treated like someone’s punching bag. You are NOT the problem, don’t allow him/her to make you feel like you are!

I know that the emotional abuse has destroyed your self-esteem but you are amazing and you need to be with someone that appreciates that.

  1. If you had to write a letter/paragraph to your abuser, what would you say?

*smiles* I’ve thought about this for years and all I’d say is THANK YOU.

It may seem strange but at this point in my life I’ve learnt to accept that God knows what he’s doing. We may never accept or understand the way he goes about doing what needs to be done but I know that I was meant to go through this the chapter and I am able to talk about it because I don’t feel like just a victim.

Domestic violence has become the ‘norm’ in this day and age, it’s scary because not everyone is strong enough to get out and many lives are lost.

It’s no longer a topic that people should be afraid to talk about. We need to let each other know that yes life can be beyond difficult but there is always someone out there that has been through worse and if we just take the time to talk about it, it could save someone’s life.

Lastly no matter how old you may be, your race or gender, NO ONE deserves to be physically or emotionally abused. It may seem difficult to get out but don’t stay because you think it will get better, a Leopard can’t change his spots.

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Thank you Prenucia for sharing your journey with us. Your bravery and strength inspires.

If you find yourself in an unhealthy/abusive situation, please contact POWA on 011 642 4345/info@powa.co.za for assistance.

Remember, that nobody has the right to make you feel less than you are worth. Know your worth!

Love and light

Tenie

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My struggle with PCOS

It has taken me over a year to get the courage to talk/write about this.  This is something that I live with on a daily basis however, I am not alone.

Millions of women across the world have been through or are going through this and I hope that my writing about it will help ease a broken heart….If not mine then maybe yours!

Let me start at the beginning.

When I was 25 I was diagnosed with Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS). My ovaries do not function properly and instead of releasing an egg each month, it would turn into a cyst on my ovary.

I had the symptoms of PCOS from a young age however, was never diagnosed properly. I gained 20kgs, had irregular periods, acne and all the other symptoms that go with it.

I became so self-conscious that leaving the house was hard. I would be picked on and asked constantly why I am so fat or why my skin was so bad….I would cry so much.

Anyone with PCOS knows that our bodies work against us. I could drink a glass of water and have it turn into fat.

It is so embarrassing when you own body sabotages you.

Given that I have tried exercise and diet but the results take so long that I get bored/demotivated. Also, it tends to have a negative impact on your budget – eating healthy can be so expensive.

Have I considered fertility treatment? Yes. I did a round of very mild fertility treatment back in 2012 which was not successful. Due to the toll it took on my body, we decided to avoid it as it is not healthy – emotionally or physically.

Then in In May 2016, I had a miscarriage. We were not even trying.

It was a very early miscarriage and even though I did not know I was pregnant at the time, going through the miscarriage naturally and having the symptoms for the weeks/months that followed was emotional torture.

Bruce and I tried to focus on the fact that I fell pregnant as a positive especially knowing how much harder the battle is with PCOS.

I felt so alone.

Who could I talk to about it that would actually understand what I was going through!

Would anyone understand?

I did not want the “Everything will be ok…it happened for a reason…you can try again” speech.

I wanted someone who could tell me how much it will hurt, how my body would react…the bitter truth.

But I could not bring myself to speak about it….I bottled it up and filed it away in the back of my mind.

I kept telling myself that I was doing great.

When I was diagnosed with depression in late 2016, I had to face the truth and deal with the pain that the miscarriage caused.

It made me more open to talking about it. A dear friend who also has PCOS referred me to her gynae and amazingly I was given a clean bill of health. Bruce and I were so shocked.

The doctor did mention that sometimes this can happen after a miscarriage as your hormones regulate.

Even though I have this new clean bill of health, I still wonder who that little miracle would have been.

Do I obsess about it…definitely not!

I have learnt to take life a day at a time….slow down and just go with the flow while enjoying what God has planned for us.

Am I obsessed with starting a family…no and I have made peace with it.

Would I be unhappy not having children…definitely not.

We have decided that we would focus on the blessings that we do have and not the ones that we don’t.

Somedays this is harder but we will get there together.

Fertility issues are becoming so common. Every other couple that you chat to is having some sort of fertility related issue.

I just hope that my story will help someone out there who is/has gone through the struggle.

 

Here is some PCOS facts for you:

what-is-pcos

You are not alone. We need to stick together to ensure that the stigma around these issues ends.

Drop me an email with your story: tenisworld@gmail.com.

XoXoXo

Tenie

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Review: NYX Beauty School Dropout

So back in June to celebrate my “Name Day” (Game of Thrones addicts will understand – AKA my birthday), I was treated to a makeup shopping spree.

My choice was the World of NYX at the Clicks Mall of Africa.

As can be expected, it was like letting a two year old run wild in a candy store.

One of my purchases was the NYX Beauty School Dropout Back to Basics palette.
It comes in a cute black folder with 35 eye shadows, two blushes, two highlighters as well as two contour/bronzing shades.

WHAT!!!!

You read right all these amazing goodies in one compact palette for around R475.

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I have been using the blush and highlighters daily. Love love love the formula. You can create and dewy look or a dramatic look as the colour is build-able.

Swatches below:

 

The eyeshadows are not the greatest formula and most of the colours do not last a long time once applied. I have tried this with and without a primer.

I prefer the metallic shades as they are pigmented and seem to stay put for a little longer.

Swatches below:

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The contouring/bronzing shades were not made for a darker complexion and don’t show on my skin tone.

Swatches:

Do I regret my decision to buy this pallete???       Definitely not!

I find NYX products affordable and good quality – – – looking forward to trying more of their products and reviewing them for you.

You lovelies who have purchased this palette, please share your thoughts on it with me 🙂

XoXo

Tenie

Review!!!

OMG i am in love…with a lipstick! 😂

Only a true makeup lover could relate to the emotions you feel when you find new makeup that is actually good 😍

I have been an Avon customer since I was 16 years old. This was the only brand that my mum allowed me to get as the products were gentle…I fell in love with the Color Trends range.
However, as I grew older and my taste in makeup changed I noticed that the colours that Avon showed in the catelogue would be a totally different shade when recieved….eventually due to this I moved away from the brand.

That was until i discovered their makeup setting spray which became a staple in my makeup collection. I always have no less than 3 bottles on hand just to be safe 😎

But in the September catelogue i saw the Avon Liquid Lip Lacquer Matt range on the cover and it was love at first sight 💞

I decided to give them a try and ordered the shades Plump up the jam and Fabulosity…was not holding my breath….boy oh boy did Avon deliver!

The shades were exactly what i orderd and the quality was amazing.

The product is rich, creamy and so so pigmented. It stayed on the entire day and did not need a touch up.

Avon you have really hit the mark and given us this gorgeous product.

10/10 from me👍

The lip lacquer was on sale for an introductory rate of R84.95….get yours now.

Give it a try and let me know your thoughts 🌷

Xoxo

Tenie

A little taste of Paris (in SA off course)

It was hubby’s birthday yesterday so we ventured out to this little gem with our special people.

The decor and atmosphere really makes you feel like you are in old Paris…french classical music sets the mood while you get swept away on a magical adventure (mini Eiffel tower included).

Now if anyone loves quirky stuff it has to be me…I am one who can definitely appreciate the time and detail that has been put into French Toast Koffie Kafee.

What I loved most was the fact that even though it’s a 30-45 min drive from JHB…it feels like you have been transported to Paris.

We got there after 12 but the manager allowed us to order from the breakie menu…you won me over.

I opted for the french toast with poached eggs and bacon 😍 heaven on my tongue!

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Other orders placed included the beef burger (on franch toast bun), the french toast and camembert as well as the herb french toast.

 

Pics of the menu:

After brunch, we ventured out for a stroll through the French themed exterior.

I loved the replica of the Eiffel Tower as well as the Lock of Love bridge.

Here are some pics of our day out.

I would definitely recommend a visit to this gem whether it’s for a romantic afternoon out or a family day…loved by young and old.

My rating 5/5 – yummy food, great customer service and even more amazing venue.

French Toast Koffie Kafee

078 592 6953
info@frenchtoastharties.co.za

Hours: Mon to Sun 7:30 to 17:00

Hartbeespoort Aquarium
R511 R27
Hartbeespoort
0216
XoXo
Tenie

Business shout out!

Apologies for being away for so long….the flu decided to invade my body and knock me out for the month of July. But I am back with a bang babies!!!

I love reviewing and supporting up and coming talent so I will be doing a new “Business shout out” spot to help shed some light on the talent out there.

First up is a shout out to my girl…the classically stunning Priyanka of Makeup by Priya.

I did a mini interview with her to see what she has to offer the makeup world.

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  • What inspired you to become a makeup artist?

My view is that, at it’ core, makeup serves to enhance your natural beauty. With this philosophy in mind, it has helped boost my self-confidence and in turn I want to help others experience the same as well as empower them to do it for themselves. There’s a well-known quote by world renowned makeup artist Bobbi Brown that I am particularly fond of and it really captures why I am a makeup artist.

It reads as follows, “I believe that all women are pretty without makeup – but with the right makeup can   be pretty powerful”.

  • How long have you been doing makeup for?

Professionally, for a little over 1.5 years.

  • When did your passion for makeup start?

Mid-High school – when I got the opportunity to really play around with makeup. (Never  before    then…my mom was quite strict about using makeup!).

  • Where do you get your creative inspiration from?

Hmmmm from people, places, clothing, and more often than not problems that my      clients struggle with!    Style Icons Dita Von Teese and Olivia Palermo are two people that  get my creative juices going.
Oh, and Pinterest of course.

  • What other services can customers look forward to from you in the future?

Definitely more workshop style offerings… can’t let all my secrets out the bag ;).

  • What set’s your business apart from the rest?

My business is based on making flawless makeup application accessible to all. Whether it’s through an application by me or workshop with me I aim to debunk preconceived notions that having a great makeup application is too complicated.

  • Who is your makeup inspiration?

Wow there are so many great MUA’s I admire in the industry…it’s hard to narrow it down. Some of my favorite artists are the talented sisters Sam Chapman & Nicola Haste (Pixiwoos), Mickey Contractor for his Bollywood flair and Kim-K’s MUA, Mario Dedivanovic.

  • What is your favorite look?

The classic red lip and winged liner. It’s a timeless look.

  • Any tips or tricks?

My top two beauty hacks are as below –

Best makeup remover : Coconut Oil

Best lip treatment : Bepanthen

  • What are your favorite products?

Benefit Push up they’re real mascara & gel eyeliner

MAC Prep + Prime Fix + Spray

LA Girl’s range of colour correctors – amazing!

  • Share one of your favorite looks with us.

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Photo credit : https://www.pinterest.com/pin/350999364679314584/?lp=true

  • Tell us more about your business

Makeup by Priya specializes in one-on-one masterclasses and group workshops focused on empowering others on how to look ‘pretty powerful’. Makeup by Priya also enjoys being a part of your special day through makeup application for matric dances and other events, weddings and even dress up parties.

Check out Makeup By Priya on the info below:

  • Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/m.upbypriya/
  • Instagram: @m.upbypriya

If you would like me to send a shout out to a business that you own or a business that you would like more info on, please feel free to comment on this post or drop me an email – teniesworld@gmail.com.

Have an awesome week.

Xoxo

Tenie

 

 

Makeup review!!!

So as you know I have adult acne. Thanks to my skin having a midlife crisis, I have blemishes and acne scaring on my cheeks, forehead and chin … but wait a second…how is it that I always look like my skin is healthy and Happy????

This is not the part where I tell you about how I manage to photoshop each of my pics before posting on social media…instead, let me tell you about my saving grace Kryolan DermaColor foundation.

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In the picture below, I am wearing no makeup and as you can see, my skin is far from perfect.

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Before I learnt about Kryolan, I considered becoming a hermit. Leaving the house was so hard to do…it felt like the world judged me on how I looked and that made me feel self conscious.

My daily makeup routine is very simple and quick:

  • I keep my face with a moisturiser which does not make my combination skin oily
  • I then apply an even layer of my DermaColour foundation to my entire face
  • I then use a light beige foundation under my eye area and along my T-done to highlight the areas.
  • A translucent powder is then applied to my entire face in order to set my makeup.
  • I then add a stroke of blush to the apples of my cheeks and blend out toward my temprals.
  • In order to brighten up my cheeks and forehead, I add a light dusting of highlighter
  • My look is then finished off with a coat of mascara, a little bit of lipstick and a sprits of makeup setting spray.

Here is a pic of my finished look minus the lipstick…quick easy and comfy:

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To demonstrate the magic of DermaColor foundation, I have used it to cover a portion  of my tattoo. I did it very lightly but the difference is definitely wow!

Do you use this amazing foundation? Share your thoughts with me in the comments below 😘

Also remember, just because you may need a full coverage foundation does not mean that it should feel cakey on your skin. It should be comfy and healthy for your skin.

Xoxoxo

Tenie

I will be doing a giveaway on my Instagram account with a few other bloggers. Remember to follow me on @tenishafrank21 to keep up to date😀

Rocomamas Review

Last week I celebrated yet another year on this gorgeous earth.

In honor of this momentous occasion, the gang and I ventured out to Rocomamas Bedfordview in search of the aptly named ‘Bedford Bomb’.

The signature red bun should serve as a warning for what lies between the buns.

A juicy, meaty, flavorful yet killer hot smash burger. The key ingredient used is the Caroliner Reaper pepper. This is one of the hottest pepper in the world.

A disclaimer had to be signed and we were given surgical gloves to ensure that we didn’t have any ‘chilli in the eye’ casualties.

The burger arrived with a pungent yet sweet chilli smell….as I bravely took my first bite I thought to myself how delicious this is and not hot at all!!!

It was all good until the moment I swallowed my first bite…. my body temp increased, my ears burned, my eyes teared up and the burning sensation in my mouth won.

I also at some point made the mistake of sucking my lips…BEEEGGG mistake!

The burn spread almost instantly to the delicate skin around my mouth.

Would I have this meal again….hell Yes! I am planning my next meal there.

Even though it was super spicy, it was still divine.

Make sure to order a milkshake or ice cold beer before you tackle this bomb.

I also tried a cookies and scream waffle which was yummy but the burger was def the main attraction.

4/5 is my rating.

Visit the Rocomamas Bedfordview to try out this masterpiece.

Shop 30, Bedford Village Centre, Niīcol ROAD, 2008.

Tel: 011 4501017

Please ensure that you book a table as they get crazy busy.

XOXO

Tenie

Readers

My blog is almost three months old and is growing from strength to strength. 

This would not be possible without you…my amazing readers 😘

Thank you from the bottom of my heart!

I am still getting the hang of being a blogger and love hearing from my readers…please leave a comment with your thoughts or any suggestions that you may have regarding future posts.

I have included a snippet of the stats of the blog…it just makes me so happy.

I am planning a giveaway for you my dear subscribers so stay tuned and remember to subscribe (if you haven’t already 😉).

XOXO

Tenie

Review: Tataki Green Valley 

Anyone who knows me understands that I love yummy food…i live to eat:-)

One of my all time favs is sushi. Who knew raw fish could taste so good!

When the craving calls….I answer it by going to my all time fav place… Tataki.

Being a girl from the East Rand (Edenvale) the Green Valley store is so so convenient.

It’s cosy and welcoming…the staff are friendly and the sushi fresh – What more could this girl ask for!!!

Sushi heaven is the best way to describe it. 

The store offers an all you can eat sushi option for R155 each. This not only allows you unlimited access to the sushi conveyor belt but also a huge menu of sushi to choose from.

What I appreciate most is the fact that the quality of the sushi beats most high-end restaurants. 

The creativity of the chefs leaves me in awe every single time I visit. 

My siblings and I visited our little piece of heaven yesterday and once again we were not disappointed.

The chefs had made fresh servings of the deep fried sushi … OMG…each piece was soft, warm and crispy. 

We were also introduced to calamari sushi….gobsmacked…soft delightful fresh…blissfully Devine 😍 I think I am in love with a sushi roll 🙂

Tataki Green Valley…you keep us coming back for more!

My rating is a 4 out of 5.

Do go visit this little sushi paradise the next time you have a craving…let me know your thoughts on the place in the comments below.

XOXO

Tenie