Single in the City

Over the last few months I have chatted to numerous people who are either  in the “Single and ready to mingle” phase of their adulthood or looking for the ever illusive “One”.

Times have certainly changed since I last dated! Dating (to me) seems more like a business transaction these day.

A case of what can you do for me or almost like shopping at a meat market for the special of the day.

So I approached a few fabulous singles who have agreed to give us a sneak peek into the dating world in 2017.

I have asked each of them a bunch of random questions to which I have shared the answers to below. These are anonymous of course.

Melanie* 27 years old – Beauty therapist

  1.  How long have you been single for/not in a committed relationship?
    5 months
  2. Is there a reason for this?
    Sometimes it’s just not meant to be
  3. What do you find challenging about dating in 2017?
    In general I feel like people no longer take relationships seriously, there’s no respect, no loyalty, lack of communication.
  4. Your ideal partner?
    Someone that is willing to be patient with me, I can be rather difficult, also someone that would treat me the way in which they expect to be treated.
  5. Dream date?
    Sitting at the beach for hours on end just talking, nothing beats that.
  6. Worst date that you have ever been on?
    Went from a supper to a violent night.
  7. Have you tried online dating or mobile dating apps? What was it like?
    Lol yes, no no no never again
  8. Do you think 2017 holds promise in the romance section of your life?
    Honestly I have no idea, whatever is meant to happen will happen!

Rasta* 27 years old – Service Specialist

  1.  How long have you been single for/not in a committed relationship?
    3 years.
  2. Is there a reason for this?
    Personal choice over and above being picky.
  3. What do you find challenging about dating in 2017?
    Technology and social media.
  4. Your ideal partner?
    Private and very private.
  5. Dream date? Typical dinner on the roof top of the tallest building.
  6. Worst date that you have ever been on? The guy was not well spoken and I had to ask twice in order to understand what he was trying to say.
  7. Have you tried online dating or mobile dating apps? What was it like?
    I have…and still do. it’s fun!
  8. Do you think 2017 holds promise in the romance section of your life?
    I am not holding my breath but let’s see what happens.

Kristy* 25 years old – Educational Psychologist

  1.  How long have you been single for/not in a committed relationship?
    9 month single.
  2. Is there a reason for this?
    Partner wanted space and then never came back.
  3. What do you find challenging about dating in 2017? Guys are not looking to pursue girls like they used to. If they do not get what they want, they leave. They are not looking for commitment.
  4. Your ideal partner? Thoughtful and someone who wants to work through both the good and difficult times.
  5. Dream date? Candlelight dinner and stimulating conversation.
  6. Worst date that you have ever been on? Taken to a club, where he got insanely drunk and I had to get my friends to bring me home.
  7. Have you tried online dating or mobile dating apps? What was it like?
    Never tried online dating. Don’t think I would.
  8. Do you think 2017 holds promise in the romance section of your life?
    I hope so. However, I feel put off by dating currently.

Sarah* 25 years old -Finance

  1.  How long have you been single for/not in a committed relationship?
    2 years.
  2. Is there a reason for this? Not really. Just enjoying life I suppose 🙂
  3. What do you find challenging about dating in 2017? Well…lol it isn’t much of a challenge yet if you haven’t tried. I am just very fussy so I suppose I have standards that have not been met as yet.
  4. Your ideal partner?
    I haven’t really put too much thought into this to be honest, I would probably want a partner who can possess similar qualities of my father as this should be the only male figure a lady would compare her potential partner to.If you are treated like a princess, then someone has big boots to fill 🙂
  5. Dream date? Great food and a great view to go with it??? Maybe a picnic on a mountain…that would be awesome overlooking a sunrise or sunset:-) Simplicity is key.
  6. Worst date that you have ever been on? Haven’t experienced this yet.
  7. Have you tried online dating or mobile dating apps? What was it like?
    I have not and probably won’t.
  8. Do you think 2017 holds promise in the romance section of your life?
    I believe that what is meant to be will be 🙂 This year is full of possibilities so who knows!!!

Bradley* 32 years old – Engineer

  1.  How long have you been single for/not in a committed relationship?
    6 years.
  2. Is there a reason for this? My heart was broken so I buried myself in work and studies.
  3. What do you find challenging about dating in 2017? Females are different…where do you even find a good one these days? All they seem to do is sit on social media…so where does and old school guy go to meet an old school girl!
  4. Your ideal partner?
    Female…easy to talk to…down to earth…must love Harry Potter and Lord of the Rings as well as Marvel movies. She must interact well with my crew…food lover…love to have fun…someone career and goal orientated…dirty sense of humor essential
  5. Dream date? Bee and burger…love a women who loves her food!
  6. Worst date that you have ever been on? Doing something really special for the wrong person 😦
  7. Have you tried online dating or mobile dating apps? What was it like?
    Yes I have…but I felt like the apps were too judgmental
  8. Do you think 2017 holds promise in the romance section of your life?
    No.

When conducting my research for this post, I approached 3 guys and 3 girls. Sadly, only one guy was brave enough to give us his honest feedback.

I hope you enjoyed this blog post…let me know your dating experiences (the good. the bad and the ugly) by leaving me a comment.

To my sexy singles…hang in there…sometimes you have to kiss a few frogs before you you find your Prince or Princess.

Try not to focus on finding a relationship…enjoy being single and all the adventures that come with it.

You are fun…free…fabulous and single…now go out there and own it!!!

Xoxo

Tenie

A huge shout out to all my followers…thank you for all the support 🙂

*These names are fictional.

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Kids???

I am 33 and married for 7 amazing years. The lucky guy is my best friend and soul mate of 15 years.

We dated for 8 years and had our dream wedding 7 years ago.

We bought our own home the year we wed.  No help from parents or long lost wealthy relatives…we did it on our own. Definitely a very proud moment in our lives.

Now comes the question that every person has been asking us “When are the babies coming???”

I don’t know if this is an indian thing or if all cultures have the same pressures. 

Once upon a time..it was normal for people to be married by 26, have the dream house (white picket fence included) aling with 2.5 kids. 

These days things have changed. We have career goals, travel dreams and many adventure to go on before having a kids.

Asking someone when they are having kids is such a personal question…may as well come right out and ask “When you are having sex!”

After many years of being asked this question, i still look like a deer caught in the headlights when the subject comes up.

I don’t see why I should actually answer this question…the choice to reproduce is between spouses.

Its not like I don’t ever want kids (i love them and they love me) but i want to have a kid when we are ready and not when we are required to.

Is this the norm these days? 

Share your experiences with me in the comments.

Xoxo 

Tenie

A huge thank you to all my followers.  I promise to keep it coming 😊

The beautiful depression

Beautiful…depression…these are definitely two words that you would never expect to see together.

Here you are thinking,”Tenie has lost the plot!” 

Let me explain…last year I was diagnosed with major depression and anxiety. This was as a direct result of a traumatic life experience.

My sleep patterns changed, I lost my appetite and was not able to concentrate or remember things…I felt like i was losing myself.

Mental illness has a very negative stigma attached to it however, in my world it is the norm.

I have five people in my immediate family who suffer from either depression or bipolar mood disorder.

Even though I am exposed to it on a daily basis, it was not easy trying to deal with my very own diagnosis. 

I managed to get the help I needed quite quickly and have to pop a pill a day to keep me going…but I have chosen to own it.

Living with any illness is not easy…however, we have to choose to fight. Trust me being positive is sometimes impossible these days but I have come to realise that having a bad day once in a while is ok. 

I have also had to learn that somethings are just out of my control…I have to let go and let God!

Talking about it helps tons…so I have chosen to share this little bit of me today.

XOXO

Tenie

P.s: A huge thank you to each and every person who has taken the time to read my posts. It is so amazing to read your positive feedback. 

 

Magical Makeup

I was blessed in my late 20’s with adult acne. Most people (including me on a bad day) would definitely not see this as a blessing….far from it in fact!

It was like I woke up one morning looking like a lumpy alien creature from planet acne…arrrg! Why why why (bangs head on desk)!!!

I am a tomboy always have been.. wearing makeup meant it was a special occassion. Now suddenly I have this irrational fear of leaving the house….like some famous celebrity being hounded by the infamous paparazzi.

Thank goodness for Google…it became my go to for everything makeup. I would troll the net for hours trying to find something to hide the acne without it feeling like I was wearing makeup…I was searching for the magical unicorn of the makeup world.

Then I remembered that I used Kryolan makeup on my wedding day and loved how comfy it was…could this be my unicorn????

Hubby (being the awesome guy that he is) offered to take me to the Kryolan store in Bramely so that i could check out the offerings…

Fast forward 4 years later…. Hello my name is Tenisha and I am a kryolan (well let’s be honest…makeup in  general) addict!

Makeup has given me this newfound confidence and comfort in my own skin which I simply love.

This blog is the beginning of something new and exciting for me. I will blog weekly with my latest adventures (or misadventures lol).

Stayed tuned for more…

Xoxo 

Tenisha