Update: I am alive!!!

Hey lovelies!

I know I promised more crazy blog posts this year…however, it has been crazy!

This is just a quick update post on the happenings in my life thus far.

So I have decided to take control of my health and I have joined CrossFit.

WTF!!! I know it’s extreme for a non-athlete like myself but I needed something that was going to kick my butt into shape.

It has been a painful month….I have discovered muscles that I honestly did not know existed. There have been days when I couldn’t sit, stand, walk or function but it has been amazing.

Each session pushes me to a point that I never knew I could reach. I have to admit that there are times when I just lay there like a moaning starfish on the gym floor (true story lol) because my body has reached its limit but I take it a day at a time.

I am not going into full (as the gym experts call it) “BEAST” mode but more like a soft cuddly teddy bear looking to lose the hibernation weight gain.

I have been asked by my sibling to document the journey to give hope to people like me. Honestly, the thought of taking a before selfie is killing me.

Self image has always been an issue that I have faced but I always make the most of the situation and get comfy.

This year I am getting out of the comfort zone and kicking my own butt. I choose to love myself enough to eat better and exercise more….because I am worth it (stretch marks and acne scars included)!

I am looking at documenting the journey monthly with details of how it is going and maybe I will be brave enough to take a picture.

My goal overall is to lose 30kgs but I do know that I may not lose it all due to muscle gain. This is not a overnight fix and I have decided to make it a lifestyle change so that I can maintain it.

Let me know your thoughts 🙂

Also remember to follow me on Instagram: @tenishafrank21 for regular posts and updates as well as giveaways.

Love and light

Tenie

P.s – quick depression update …I am proud to say that after a year and a half on meds, I am officially off anti-depressants.

 

 

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Welcome 2018!

Compliments of the season guys!

May 2018 be the best year of our lives😊

I am going into 2018 with the promise to love myself more 💕

I have been given this one life and I am going to make it the best one ever!

My imperfections make me who I am…my quirks my character my beauty💕 and this year I plan to own it!

I do not aim to fit in but rather i choose to stand out!

Why fit the mould when you where born to break it😎

Be the best you guys…know your worth and accept yourself.

Cheers to a better brighter 2018 and more posts from me 😍

Xoxo

Tenie

My struggle with PCOS

It has taken me over a year to get the courage to talk/write about this.  This is something that I live with on a daily basis however, I am not alone.

Millions of women across the world have been through or are going through this and I hope that my writing about it will help ease a broken heart….If not mine then maybe yours!

Let me start at the beginning.

When I was 25 I was diagnosed with Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS). My ovaries do not function properly and instead of releasing an egg each month, it would turn into a cyst on my ovary.

I had the symptoms of PCOS from a young age however, was never diagnosed properly. I gained 20kgs, had irregular periods, acne and all the other symptoms that go with it.

I became so self-conscious that leaving the house was hard. I would be picked on and asked constantly why I am so fat or why my skin was so bad….I would cry so much.

Anyone with PCOS knows that our bodies work against us. I could drink a glass of water and have it turn into fat.

It is so embarrassing when you own body sabotages you.

Given that I have tried exercise and diet but the results take so long that I get bored/demotivated. Also, it tends to have a negative impact on your budget – eating healthy can be so expensive.

Have I considered fertility treatment? Yes. I did a round of very mild fertility treatment back in 2012 which was not successful. Due to the toll it took on my body, we decided to avoid it as it is not healthy – emotionally or physically.

Then in In May 2016, I had a miscarriage. We were not even trying.

It was a very early miscarriage and even though I did not know I was pregnant at the time, going through the miscarriage naturally and having the symptoms for the weeks/months that followed was emotional torture.

Bruce and I tried to focus on the fact that I fell pregnant as a positive especially knowing how much harder the battle is with PCOS.

I felt so alone.

Who could I talk to about it that would actually understand what I was going through!

Would anyone understand?

I did not want the “Everything will be ok…it happened for a reason…you can try again” speech.

I wanted someone who could tell me how much it will hurt, how my body would react…the bitter truth.

But I could not bring myself to speak about it….I bottled it up and filed it away in the back of my mind.

I kept telling myself that I was doing great.

When I was diagnosed with depression in late 2016, I had to face the truth and deal with the pain that the miscarriage caused.

It made me more open to talking about it. A dear friend who also has PCOS referred me to her gynae and amazingly I was given a clean bill of health. Bruce and I were so shocked.

The doctor did mention that sometimes this can happen after a miscarriage as your hormones regulate.

Even though I have this new clean bill of health, I still wonder who that little miracle would have been.

Do I obsess about it…definitely not!

I have learnt to take life a day at a time….slow down and just go with the flow while enjoying what God has planned for us.

Am I obsessed with starting a family…no and I have made peace with it.

Would I be unhappy not having children…definitely not.

We have decided that we would focus on the blessings that we do have and not the ones that we don’t.

Somedays this is harder but we will get there together.

Fertility issues are becoming so common. Every other couple that you chat to is having some sort of fertility related issue.

I just hope that my story will help someone out there who is/has gone through the struggle.

 

Here is some PCOS facts for you:

what-is-pcos

You are not alone. We need to stick together to ensure that the stigma around these issues ends.

Drop me an email with your story: tenisworld@gmail.com.

XoXoXo

Tenie

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