Update: I am alive!!!

Hey lovelies!

I know I promised more crazy blog posts this year…however, it has been crazy!

This is just a quick update post on the happenings in my life thus far.

So I have decided to take control of my health and I have joined CrossFit.

WTF!!! I know it’s extreme for a non-athlete like myself but I needed something that was going to kick my butt into shape.

It has been a painful month….I have discovered muscles that I honestly did not know existed. There have been days when I couldn’t sit, stand, walk or function but it has been amazing.

Each session pushes me to a point that I never knew I could reach. I have to admit that there are times when I just lay there like a moaning starfish on the gym floor (true story lol) because my body has reached its limit but I take it a day at a time.

I am not going into full (as the gym experts call it) “BEAST” mode but more like a soft cuddly teddy bear looking to lose the hibernation weight gain.

I have been asked by my sibling to document the journey to give hope to people like me. Honestly, the thought of taking a before selfie is killing me.

Self image has always been an issue that I have faced but I always make the most of the situation and get comfy.

This year I am getting out of the comfort zone and kicking my own butt. I choose to love myself enough to eat better and exercise more….because I am worth it (stretch marks and acne scars included)!

I am looking at documenting the journey monthly with details of how it is going and maybe I will be brave enough to take a picture.

My goal overall is to lose 30kgs but I do know that I may not lose it all due to muscle gain. This is not a overnight fix and I have decided to make it a lifestyle change so that I can maintain it.

Let me know your thoughts 🙂

Also remember to follow me on Instagram: @tenishafrank21 for regular posts and updates as well as giveaways.

Love and light

Tenie

P.s – quick depression update …I am proud to say that after a year and a half on meds, I am officially off anti-depressants.

 

 

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Welcome 2018!

Compliments of the season guys!

May 2018 be the best year of our lives😊

I am going into 2018 with the promise to love myself more 💕

I have been given this one life and I am going to make it the best one ever!

My imperfections make me who I am…my quirks my character my beauty💕 and this year I plan to own it!

I do not aim to fit in but rather i choose to stand out!

Why fit the mould when you where born to break it😎

Be the best you guys…know your worth and accept yourself.

Cheers to a better brighter 2018 and more posts from me 😍

Xoxo

Tenie

My struggle with PCOS

It has taken me over a year to get the courage to talk/write about this.  This is something that I live with on a daily basis however, I am not alone.

Millions of women across the world have been through or are going through this and I hope that my writing about it will help ease a broken heart….If not mine then maybe yours!

Let me start at the beginning.

When I was 25 I was diagnosed with Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS). My ovaries do not function properly and instead of releasing an egg each month, it would turn into a cyst on my ovary.

I had the symptoms of PCOS from a young age however, was never diagnosed properly. I gained 20kgs, had irregular periods, acne and all the other symptoms that go with it.

I became so self-conscious that leaving the house was hard. I would be picked on and asked constantly why I am so fat or why my skin was so bad….I would cry so much.

Anyone with PCOS knows that our bodies work against us. I could drink a glass of water and have it turn into fat.

It is so embarrassing when you own body sabotages you.

Given that I have tried exercise and diet but the results take so long that I get bored/demotivated. Also, it tends to have a negative impact on your budget – eating healthy can be so expensive.

Have I considered fertility treatment? Yes. I did a round of very mild fertility treatment back in 2012 which was not successful. Due to the toll it took on my body, we decided to avoid it as it is not healthy – emotionally or physically.

Then in In May 2016, I had a miscarriage. We were not even trying.

It was a very early miscarriage and even though I did not know I was pregnant at the time, going through the miscarriage naturally and having the symptoms for the weeks/months that followed was emotional torture.

Bruce and I tried to focus on the fact that I fell pregnant as a positive especially knowing how much harder the battle is with PCOS.

I felt so alone.

Who could I talk to about it that would actually understand what I was going through!

Would anyone understand?

I did not want the “Everything will be ok…it happened for a reason…you can try again” speech.

I wanted someone who could tell me how much it will hurt, how my body would react…the bitter truth.

But I could not bring myself to speak about it….I bottled it up and filed it away in the back of my mind.

I kept telling myself that I was doing great.

When I was diagnosed with depression in late 2016, I had to face the truth and deal with the pain that the miscarriage caused.

It made me more open to talking about it. A dear friend who also has PCOS referred me to her gynae and amazingly I was given a clean bill of health. Bruce and I were so shocked.

The doctor did mention that sometimes this can happen after a miscarriage as your hormones regulate.

Even though I have this new clean bill of health, I still wonder who that little miracle would have been.

Do I obsess about it…definitely not!

I have learnt to take life a day at a time….slow down and just go with the flow while enjoying what God has planned for us.

Am I obsessed with starting a family…no and I have made peace with it.

Would I be unhappy not having children…definitely not.

We have decided that we would focus on the blessings that we do have and not the ones that we don’t.

Somedays this is harder but we will get there together.

Fertility issues are becoming so common. Every other couple that you chat to is having some sort of fertility related issue.

I just hope that my story will help someone out there who is/has gone through the struggle.

 

Here is some PCOS facts for you:

what-is-pcos

You are not alone. We need to stick together to ensure that the stigma around these issues ends.

Drop me an email with your story: tenisworld@gmail.com.

XoXoXo

Tenie

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Review: NYX Beauty School Dropout

So back in June to celebrate my “Name Day” (Game of Thrones addicts will understand – AKA my birthday), I was treated to a makeup shopping spree.

My choice was the World of NYX at the Clicks Mall of Africa.

As can be expected, it was like letting a two year old run wild in a candy store.

One of my purchases was the NYX Beauty School Dropout Back to Basics palette.
It comes in a cute black folder with 35 eye shadows, two blushes, two highlighters as well as two contour/bronzing shades.

WHAT!!!!

You read right all these amazing goodies in one compact palette for around R475.

WhatsApp Image 2017-10-24 at 15.06.32(3)

I have been using the blush and highlighters daily. Love love love the formula. You can create and dewy look or a dramatic look as the colour is build-able.

Swatches below:

 

The eyeshadows are not the greatest formula and most of the colours do not last a long time once applied. I have tried this with and without a primer.

I prefer the metallic shades as they are pigmented and seem to stay put for a little longer.

Swatches below:

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The contouring/bronzing shades were not made for a darker complexion and don’t show on my skin tone.

Swatches:

Do I regret my decision to buy this pallete???       Definitely not!

I find NYX products affordable and good quality – – – looking forward to trying more of their products and reviewing them for you.

You lovelies who have purchased this palette, please share your thoughts on it with me 🙂

XoXo

Tenie

Single in the City

Over the last few months I have chatted to numerous people who are either  in the “Single and ready to mingle” phase of their adulthood or looking for the ever illusive “One”.

Times have certainly changed since I last dated! Dating (to me) seems more like a business transaction these day.

A case of what can you do for me or almost like shopping at a meat market for the special of the day.

So I approached a few fabulous singles who have agreed to give us a sneak peek into the dating world in 2017.

I have asked each of them a bunch of random questions to which I have shared the answers to below. These are anonymous of course.

Melanie* 27 years old – Beauty therapist

  1.  How long have you been single for/not in a committed relationship?
    5 months
  2. Is there a reason for this?
    Sometimes it’s just not meant to be
  3. What do you find challenging about dating in 2017?
    In general I feel like people no longer take relationships seriously, there’s no respect, no loyalty, lack of communication.
  4. Your ideal partner?
    Someone that is willing to be patient with me, I can be rather difficult, also someone that would treat me the way in which they expect to be treated.
  5. Dream date?
    Sitting at the beach for hours on end just talking, nothing beats that.
  6. Worst date that you have ever been on?
    Went from a supper to a violent night.
  7. Have you tried online dating or mobile dating apps? What was it like?
    Lol yes, no no no never again
  8. Do you think 2017 holds promise in the romance section of your life?
    Honestly I have no idea, whatever is meant to happen will happen!

Rasta* 27 years old – Service Specialist

  1.  How long have you been single for/not in a committed relationship?
    3 years.
  2. Is there a reason for this?
    Personal choice over and above being picky.
  3. What do you find challenging about dating in 2017?
    Technology and social media.
  4. Your ideal partner?
    Private and very private.
  5. Dream date? Typical dinner on the roof top of the tallest building.
  6. Worst date that you have ever been on? The guy was not well spoken and I had to ask twice in order to understand what he was trying to say.
  7. Have you tried online dating or mobile dating apps? What was it like?
    I have…and still do. it’s fun!
  8. Do you think 2017 holds promise in the romance section of your life?
    I am not holding my breath but let’s see what happens.

Kristy* 25 years old – Educational Psychologist

  1.  How long have you been single for/not in a committed relationship?
    9 month single.
  2. Is there a reason for this?
    Partner wanted space and then never came back.
  3. What do you find challenging about dating in 2017? Guys are not looking to pursue girls like they used to. If they do not get what they want, they leave. They are not looking for commitment.
  4. Your ideal partner? Thoughtful and someone who wants to work through both the good and difficult times.
  5. Dream date? Candlelight dinner and stimulating conversation.
  6. Worst date that you have ever been on? Taken to a club, where he got insanely drunk and I had to get my friends to bring me home.
  7. Have you tried online dating or mobile dating apps? What was it like?
    Never tried online dating. Don’t think I would.
  8. Do you think 2017 holds promise in the romance section of your life?
    I hope so. However, I feel put off by dating currently.

Sarah* 25 years old -Finance

  1.  How long have you been single for/not in a committed relationship?
    2 years.
  2. Is there a reason for this? Not really. Just enjoying life I suppose 🙂
  3. What do you find challenging about dating in 2017? Well…lol it isn’t much of a challenge yet if you haven’t tried. I am just very fussy so I suppose I have standards that have not been met as yet.
  4. Your ideal partner?
    I haven’t really put too much thought into this to be honest, I would probably want a partner who can possess similar qualities of my father as this should be the only male figure a lady would compare her potential partner to.If you are treated like a princess, then someone has big boots to fill 🙂
  5. Dream date? Great food and a great view to go with it??? Maybe a picnic on a mountain…that would be awesome overlooking a sunrise or sunset:-) Simplicity is key.
  6. Worst date that you have ever been on? Haven’t experienced this yet.
  7. Have you tried online dating or mobile dating apps? What was it like?
    I have not and probably won’t.
  8. Do you think 2017 holds promise in the romance section of your life?
    I believe that what is meant to be will be 🙂 This year is full of possibilities so who knows!!!

Bradley* 32 years old – Engineer

  1.  How long have you been single for/not in a committed relationship?
    6 years.
  2. Is there a reason for this? My heart was broken so I buried myself in work and studies.
  3. What do you find challenging about dating in 2017? Females are different…where do you even find a good one these days? All they seem to do is sit on social media…so where does and old school guy go to meet an old school girl!
  4. Your ideal partner?
    Female…easy to talk to…down to earth…must love Harry Potter and Lord of the Rings as well as Marvel movies. She must interact well with my crew…food lover…love to have fun…someone career and goal orientated…dirty sense of humor essential
  5. Dream date? Bee and burger…love a women who loves her food!
  6. Worst date that you have ever been on? Doing something really special for the wrong person 😦
  7. Have you tried online dating or mobile dating apps? What was it like?
    Yes I have…but I felt like the apps were too judgmental
  8. Do you think 2017 holds promise in the romance section of your life?
    No.

When conducting my research for this post, I approached 3 guys and 3 girls. Sadly, only one guy was brave enough to give us his honest feedback.

I hope you enjoyed this blog post…let me know your dating experiences (the good. the bad and the ugly) by leaving me a comment.

To my sexy singles…hang in there…sometimes you have to kiss a few frogs before you you find your Prince or Princess.

Try not to focus on finding a relationship…enjoy being single and all the adventures that come with it.

You are fun…free…fabulous and single…now go out there and own it!!!

Xoxo

Tenie

A huge shout out to all my followers…thank you for all the support 🙂

*These names are fictional.